Simpsons Wars - or - seeing my ideas stolen from me once again - WHAT IS WORSE?
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Simpsons Star Wars
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The above spontaneous and joyous spoof had mixed reviews - some calling it cool, some calling it pathetic, a few hovering between the two...
I guess George took it for what it's really worth: as yet MORE free publicity, of the word-of-mouth kind, sort-of...! If Star Wars is still sent-up today, many are those who will want to check out the umpteenth editor's cut, packed with new CGI effects NEW versionof the first three films - and that makes George happy!
30 Days of Night Trailer
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Now THIS annoys MOI - on a very personal level too...
"For 30 days every winter, the isolated town of Barrow, Alaska
is plunged into complete darkness.
This winter bloodthirsty vampires appear ready to feed."
Visit www.30DaysOfNight.com. (No thanks)
30 DAYS OF NIGHT - in theaters 0ctober 19th. (So what?)
What a cool idea, eh?
Forget Bordello of Blood
and From Dusk Til Dawn -
those only lasted (like all other vampire flicks) a night's time - a very CONDENSED night's time, but suspension of disbelief aidant...
We are talking hardcore horror fans' DREAM situation - or worst nightmare - here!
Of course, horror like this is often thought as repulsive and downright POINTLESS GORE too; and I concur with that standpoint!
If there is nothing else there but the fangs and the bloodlust - WHAT IS THE POINT indeed? Just to be outrageously violent for roughly 90 minutes time?
Wild behaviour - stakes through the heart not only allowed but strongly encouraged - and, after it's all over, everything is fine; it was only a movie!
And vampires that crumble to dust will never sue you for bodily harm (we all know that too) nor will anyone prosecute you for having rid the world of THAT, if they were ever at all real that is!
The thing is - all of this is NOTHING new.
One could argue that the very first vampire tale (of note, I should say; no, not Dr. Polidori's book... Not even Sheridan Le Fanu's Carmilla... but really) DRACULA (it was the first to become a film anyway!) was relating a long period of time, far longer than just one night, during which the battle prolonged itself... And the sun did NOT affect the ol' fangsy Count! Not much anyway...
There were DEFINITELY 30 days and nights THERE...
Any Hammer films fan knows so much!
Any Stoker avid reader too!
The sun did rise, but Drac's presence permeating the air at all times sort of put a damper on things, even in the daytime - for no one feels the same when they've had the blood sucked out of them recently... and repeatedly (and speaking of daytime, good ol' Barnabas Collins had the same effect on everyone in Dark Shadows! But that is another story - from THAT 70's show!)
So, the "eternal night" - or one that seems never to end at any rate - as a battleground for vampires and their prey/hunters does not really work; except for providing bad shooting conditions for a film version...!
As a piece of written fiction, it can be okay;
as a comic-book, not quite so!
(Same as Fright Night or Lost Boys, basically!)
I had the very same premise (only not located in miserly Barrow... Makes me think too much of miserly Barrie! *LOL* In-joke... for the family!) and, in mine, there is a twist - a huge twist...
Plus, I did not want to do a comic-book with this; it has been a shelved NOVEL project of mine since 1999! :!
And now, to see IDW PUBLISHING COMIC pipsqueaks Steve Niles and Ben Templesmith jump the gun and go up ahead and past me, getting this adapted into a MOVIE - with whatsisname starring in it...
And Niles got the chance to write the SCREENPLAY too (with Stuart Beattie and Brian Nelson helping him out, sure...)
AND THIS IS A DARK HORSE ENTERTAINMENT PRODUCTION (Dark Horse, the same black nag -no jab at Blacula here- that, once, declined to give it a go at some of my projects that would have been PERFECT for them...)
It is also a Columbia Picture (I've always wanted to be part of any one of those Columbia Pictures!) and it is also a GHOST HOUSE PICTURES production - the ideal house for ME!!! :(
And David Spade is DIRECTING this...
AND Sam Raimi is PRODUCING it...
AND... On MySpace.com, they give it a "Booyah!" thumbs up at the rate of 74% of those who see this trailer here (instead of the "No Way!" that it deserves - well, at least 26% agree with me back there!)
Dammit, "dudes", dudettes, duds and assorted Vampire Lovers...
(And double-dammit for you, Fearless Vampire Killers wannabees -
you really should know better!!!)
This will barely be as good as the made-for-TV adaptation of Stephen King's SALEM'S LOT - and its rather sad sequel.
And, at least, *there* we had horror that was NOT pointless and not made just to show some gore and outrageous special effects that turn your stomach...!
They didn't HAVE the FX, of course - being on a tight budget and all...!
They had to rely on something else - on the writing itself!
Being adaptations of an accomplished novelist's work,
they could bank on strong writing that went that extra mile indeed...
Not so with 30 Twilights there...!
I wouldn't pay top price or any price to gain admission into a theater to see THIS.
I'd rather catch repeats of the above mentioned films - on TiVo, MPix, Space: The Imagination Station, thy friendly satellite dish or good ol' reliable cable!
Heck - I'd rather bathe with Countess Bathory than watch this crap!
I'd rather go out on a date with Dracula's Daughter!
I'd rather dance all night with Vampirella!!!
And, for the record, as far as MY TALE OF AN ENDLESS NIGHT's "hopeless battle against evil" goes...
Well - wait 'til you see it; it'll blow your socks off! ;)
Now THERE you'll find horror with a point to drive across...!
And THERE you will truly find justification for the word "GROUNDBREAKING" being used... not abused...
"30 Days Of Night" is made to cater to basic masses of vampire flick zombies - the kind that thought "Blood And Donuts" (that's right: "B.A.D.") would be, not only any good, but a bonafide classic...!!!
With any luck, 30 Days will match "Forever Knight", at best!
MY PROJECT is truly original and truly all that this piece of Alaskan frostbitten crap only pretends to be...!
But, of course, true originality is not "popular"... EVER...
Well - I sure hope THAT influences the vote HERE!
*lol*
Labels: bloodsuckers - of many kinds
posted by Luminous (\ô/) Luciano™ @ 8:27 PM
5 comments
5 Comments:
I don't know what disgusts me the most now...
The sickening vampires cast in "30 Days Of Night" (to make the male lead look even better, by very sharp contrast...? Dare they say it is "day and night" - eh? HA.)
The fact that they did steal my idea, run with it and will probably make a bundle with that now...
OR REALLY...
The sicko promos I see for this film everywhere I turn - even the God-damned WWE is promoting it!
(Not a huge surprise there...)
But what really makes my blood boil is the knowledge that I have; the certainty that I have that, if I had penned *my story* and gotten the deserved breaks with it way back in 1999-2001, garnering the much more deserved laurels and label of "groundbreaking material" than what these guys came up with in the process - I WOULD NOT HAVE WRITTEN SUCH DISGUSTING BITS OF DIALOGUE AS THESE CHUMPS DID...!!!
That scene where the girl is desperate, already half-bitten, bloodied and on her knees in the middle of the frozen street - and a rather meek vampire approaches her then... She starts bawling (very convincingly - fine actress wasted in a bad film) and she mutters the believable and natural line "Oh God..." - to which the meek sicko in front of her is given the easy and tasteless reply to deliver: "No God..."
And then he finishes the job on her, started by his fangsy friends, and her cries are *extremely* believable...
THIS IS SICKENING.
But I am sure the morons who wrote this, the other morons who filmed it and the morons who will get a kick out of it in theatres (or at home - either just with the commercial or the damn DVD) - all of them see this as "cool"...
WELL, IT IS NOT!
IT IS SICKENING - END OF STORY.
First of all, a vampire is not an authority on the subject of whether there is a God or not.
Secondly, noble vampires, vampires of old and REAL REEL vampires can attest that THERE IS A GOD - OH YEAH...
And thirdly, THIS IS JUST LAZY WRITING!!!
Lazy, easy, unimaginative writing is deemed to be GROUNDBREAKING...?!?
If this scene had been written by me - I would have considered a whole lot of different things to do there; AND VASTLY DIFFERENT DIALOGUE TOO!
First, the girl calls for God - then she must be a Christian, right? THEN WHERE THE HELL IS HER CRUCIFIX?!? A CROSS - ANYTHING THAT IS A TOKEN OF HER FAITH?!? Logically, it should be around her neck indeed...
She can be injured -
but when she says OH GOD
the damned bloodsucker can only say ONE THING AND ONE THING ONLY:
"He Cannot Save you now..."
But of course, that is dialogue worthy of a blue blood indeed - not a mere Alaskan lackey!!!
ALASKA IS A LOUSY LOCALE - BTW!
It was chosen only to have this still be "on U.S. soil" - and that is IT!
The girl can die, sure...
But her soul would appear in this wretched of a movie - IF I HAD WRITTEN IT!
Her soul would PROVE TO THIS DAMN VAMPIRE - AND ITS DAMN WRITERS - THAT THERE SURE IS A GOD!!!
Want groundbreaking?
HERE IS GROUNDBREAKING -
TRUE GROUNDBREAKING WORK!
Her body would NOT become a vampire, if she is without sin...
Her soul would be IN THE LIGHT...
She would, therefore, shed some much needed LIGHT for the 30-day long NIGHT in this waste of celluloid...
But only towards the end of the flick...!
If she was so-so in the sin department (and, nowadays, aren't we all...) - her body could turn into a vampire...
While her soul would be in limbo - tortured over what her human remains has become!
THIS DICHOTOMY HAS NEVER BEEN DONE IN FILM...
NOW THERE IS GROUNDBREAKING MATERIAL!
Too much for any Josh Harnett fan to grasp, I'm sure...
....
Oh...
And despite what the wretched WWE claims...
ECW's Kevin Thorn is not that crazy about vampire flicks and gore fests in general - as much as he is into classic Hammer Films, The Omen series (his big brother Damien's flicks!) and Bela Lugosi...!
Right, Thorn? ;)
Don't answer that...!
(You are a Kevin, after all...
And I've loathed every single Kevin I've ever known!
But that is another story...)
...
UPDATE -
OCTOBER 21st
Ten Days Before All Hell Breaks Loose, Right?
Wrong!
But Anyway...
Seems like the classless masses flocked to the theaters still - despite my classy and luminous warnings!
What a surprise...
With sick, classless, gory stomach-turning flicks such as "Blade" and "28 Days... Weeks... Months..." getting short-lived (mercifully) franchises of sorts - it was bound to be...
Even the Dracula seen in Van Helsing (the Hugh Jackman "Werewolverine" film... LOL) did recapture the classic Hammer Horror refinement - and I am sorry, genre maniacs, but vampires and the like (...) should not be found fighting with martial arts gutso - EVER.
Nor should they be feral beasts à-la-ALIEN...!!!
Werewolves should be more feral - vampires are diabolical, not beastial - NUANCE...
It's usually lost on most humanoids out there, as Bobby used to say...!
;)
A nod to Bobby - wherever he is right now - and he's still out there somewhere...!
As for the rest of you -
read this article:
(AND WEEP
for it means bad taste WINS...)
===============
Vampire flick '30 Days of Night' sinks teeth into box office with $16 million
Sun Oct 21, 3:25 PM
By David Germain, The Associated Press
LOS ANGELES - The horror tale "30 Days of Night" had three days of box-office bite.
Let it be only 3 days... Not 30... I was hoping for only 15 minutes though - a weekend must be the equivalent at the box-office, eh?
The Sony fright flick, with Josh Hartnett leading Alaskans against ravenous vampires that turn up for the prolonged winter darkness, debuted as the weekend's No. 1 movie with $16 million, according to studio estimates Sunday.
Audiences continued to choose merriment over misery (and they have a weird way to show it! as the latest crop of sober Academy Awards hopefuls, among them Ben Affleck's "Gone Baby Gone," Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal's "Rendition" and Halle Berry and Benicio Del Toro's "Things We Lost in the Fire," debuted with so-so to dismal numbers.
Whether it's the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, deadly news out of Pakistan and Myanmar or Friday's stock market tumble, moviegoers seem disinterested in more bad news at theatres with films about child-kidnapping, torture, widowhood and heroin addiction.
"Fall is the season of the serious movie, and it seems like audiences in a way are resisting the serious movie right now," said Paul Dergarabedian, president of box-office tracker Media By Numbers. "Audiences are finding their horror or their intensity in real life, and they're not looking for it in the movies."
Other escapist fare joined "30 Days of Night" at the top of the box-office chart. "Tyler Perry's Why Did I Get Married?", the Lionsgate release that was the previous weekend's No. 1 flick, slipped to second place with $12.1 million, raising its total to $38.9 million.
Disney's family comedy "The Game Plan" held up well at No. 3 with $8.1 million, lifting its four-week total to $69.2 million.
Affleck made his directing debut with Miramax's "Gone Baby Gone," which debuted at No. 5 with $6 million. The critically acclaimed movie stars the filmmaker's brother, Casey Affleck, as a private detective trying to solve a young girl's abduction.
Coming in on par with "Gone Baby Gone" was Fox Atomic's "The Comebacks," a lowbrow spoof of sports movies that opened at No. 6 with $5.85 million.
New Line's "Rendition," starring Witherspoon and Gyllenhaal in the story of an Egyptian-born man detained and tortured under suspicion of terrorism, premiered at No. 9 with $4.2 million.
The DreamWorks-Paramount release "Things We Lost in the Fire," with Berry as a widow who takes in her husband's drug-addicted best friend (Del Toro), opened far outside the top-10 with $1.6 million.
Further proof that movie fans want fun over adversity: a 3-D version of Disney's Halloween perennial "Tim Burton's the Nightmare Before Christmas" was No. 8 with $5.1 million and had a better rate of return per-theatre than any of the new wide releases.
Playing in 564 cinemas, "Nightmare Before Christmas" averaged $9,122, compared to $5,604 in 2,855 locations for "30 Days of Night;" $3,503 in 1,713 sites for "Gone Baby Gone;" $1,856 in 2,250 theatres for "Rendition" and $1,405 in 1,142 cinemas for "Things We Lost in the Fire."
"There's just so much serious fare. We have overloaded the marketplace with this highbrow, serious product," said Chris Aronson, senior vice-president of distribution for 20th Century Fox. "The audience is saying, 'Give me something to have some fun with."'
While fun movies ruled, the overall box office skidded for the fifth-straight weekend. The top-12 movies took in $79.7 million, down 10 per cent from the same weekend last year.
Estimated ticket sales for Friday through Sunday at U.S. and Canadian theatres, according to Media By Numbers LLC. Final figures will be released Monday.
1. "30 Days of Night," $16 million.
2. "Tyler Perry's Why Did I Get Married?", $12.1 million.
3. "The Game Plan," $8.1 million.
4. "Michael Clayton," $7.1 million.
5. "Gone Baby Gone," $6 million.
6. "The Comebacks," $5.85 million.
7. "We Own the Night," $5.5 million.
8. "Tim Burton's the Nightmare Before Christmas," $5.1 million.
9. "Rendition," $4.2 million.
10. "The Heartbreak Kid," $3.9 million.
-
On the Net:
http://www.mediabynumbers.com
-
Universal Pictures and Focus Features are owned by NBC Universal, a joint venture of General Electric Co. and Vivendi Universal; Sony Pictures, Sony Screen Gems and Sony Pictures Classics are units of Sony Corp.; DreamWorks, Paramount and Paramount Vantage are divisions of Viacom Inc.; Disney's parent is The Walt Disney Co.; Miramax is a division of The Walt Disney Co.; 20th Century Fox, Fox Searchlight Pictures and Fox Atomic are owned by News Corp.; Warner Bros., New Line, Warner Independent and Picturehouse are units of Time Warner Inc.; MGM is owned by a consortium of Providence Equity Partners, Texas Pacific Group, Sony Corp., Comcast Corp., DLJ Merchant Banking Partners and Quadrangle Group; Lionsgate is owned by Lionsgate Entertainment Corp.; IFC Films is owned by Rainbow Media Holdings, a subsidiary of Cablevision Systems Corp.
......
ERRATA:
I meant to say, of course, that even the Dracula in Van Helsing/Hugh Jackman-style did NOT recapture the Hammer Horror refinement - duh!
UPDATE -
Seems like the 15 bites of fame are already over and done with...
15 bytes?
They didn't even last 'til the actual halloween night!
Much less 30 nights...
PATHETIC!
Then again, where is Rob Zombie's own much-lauded remake of Halloween, on this halloween - UH?
But I digress...
Onwards with the 30 DAYS OF BASHING... "30 DAYS"...!
;)
=================
"Saw IV" dices box office rivals
October 27th, 2007
LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - "Saw IV," the latest installment in the annual horror franchise, sliced and diced its competition at the weekend box office in North America, according to preliminary sales estimates issued on Saturday.
The Halloween staple opened to $14.3 million on Friday, while the new Steve Carell comedy "Dan in Real Life" took the No. 2 spot with $4.1 million, said tracking firm Box Office Mojo (http://www.boxofficemojo.com).
The Friday haul for "Saw IV" was in line with the $14.5 million start for "Saw III" at the same time last year. It went on to make $33.6 million for the weekend, and $80.2 million by the end of its domestic run. The franchise revolves around the antics of a serial killer named Jigsaw (Tobin Bell) with a penchant for killing his victims in gruesome style.
Recent entries in the "torture porn" horror subgenre, such as "Hostel Part II" and "Captivity," have bombed at the box office. But "Saw IV" remains just as potent, a rarity for any film franchise in its fourth iteration. The "Saw" films were released by Lionsgate, a unit of Lions Gate Entertainment Corp.
"Dan in Real Life," from Walt Disney Co., stars Carell as a widowed family-advice columnist who falls in love with his brother's girlfriend, played by Juliette Binoche. Based on its Friday opening, it should earn about $10 million for the weekend, in line with pundits' forecasts.
Last weekend's champ, the Sony Corp. vampire thriller "30 Days of Night," fell to No. 3 with $2.2 million, losing a big chunk of its business to "Saw IV."
Rounding out the top five were two other former chart-toppers, the Disney family comedy "The Game Plan" with $1.8 million, and the Lionsgate romantic comedy-drama "Why Did I Get Married?" with $1.6 million.
Estimates for the weekend will be released on Sunday and final data on Monday.
...
It has become increasingly apparent that the offensive commercial that I chided so much here was in fact a horrendous act of promotional purposeful skewing of their very own footage that they're trying to sell so misguidedly - and heinously!
The writers are not to be blamed for THAT part of it -at least- for they knew better than to have such an anachronism as an "atheistic vampire" walking around ALASKA (vampires being mystical creatures closely linked to the devil and HELL, they know better than anyone that THERE IS A GOD!)
The culprits here are really the producers and the entire promotional machine that purposefully chose to re-cut a scene to make it sound like the bloodsucker was denying the very EXISTENCE of the All-Mighty to a poor girl that he's about to bite to oblivion in God's own Country (or close enough to it anyway)...
Seems like they figured that the primary audience for this piece of festering feces on film is the ATHEISTIC CROWD...
Followed closely by the NEO-GOTHIC MINDLESS PALE DRONE legions...
And of course assorted creatures of the night - satanists heading the pack - who just looooove every and any Divine putdown they can get their paws on...
(Wait 'til GOD Gets His turn at putting you down - CASTING you down, TO THE PIT, pals! You won't like THAT one! ;) But that is another story...
Oh - and YOU are NOT my "pals" - of course! I have better taste than that! ;)
All that only makes me hate the producers of this crap EVEN MORE - and I spit on them all!
And it only makes me loathe the final product a hundred-fold too!
Oh - and BY THE WAY... the only Josh that matters these days, as we speak, blog and breathe in 2007, is BECKETT, baby - not Hartnett!
(And NO bloody sock needed this time!)
Just establishing that -
for all who weren't sure...!
;)
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