taste-testing blog: Looking For A Car? Don't Look For It In QC...

Monday, May 13, 2013

Looking For A Car? Don't Look For It In QC...

Seems like all the North American car dealers are desperate enough to become even... creative, these days, in trying to goad all the brand-new driver licensees into buying into their vehicles right now rather than going the traditional ''used car for starters route''... 

Route '66 or not (hey, I heard even Lennon's '65 Ferrari is up for grabs - see you on the auction block, eh?) - it's always interesting to just stop (and, yes folks, it is oh-so-important to always makes your stops - ALL of your stops! But we're digressing now - and we can feel a little road rage developing on top of that!) ponder and look and listen at what the wheerlers-and-dealers have to say... We risk only to have a laugh at their expense - and there is no traffic cop who will ever give you a ticket for that offense! 


Let's first peek at what Chevrolet bothered to have translated (yup, translated into French, folks!)  so that the French Frogs north of the border can have a chance of owning an overpriced, under-performing motorized vehicle too...





For the same market, let's now see the extent of trouble 
that rival Honda went to in order to merely compete - 
they hired a local stand-up comedian past his prime 
and kept him under contract to try - we do say try - and be funny 
while trying to sell us the oldest trick in the book 
(since industrialization anyhow...!) 
Look at this sчit... 




Honda is so desperate, it even included the price 
(a lowered price - for lowered expectations all-around the gauge) 
in the very title of the little video there...!!! 
A hundred and twenty-nine CANADIAN bucks - 
every two weeks? 
It's STILL more than it's worth! 
No matter what the over-the-hill funny guy says there...
(What is he saying, anyway?!?)

Let's move on to FORD - also in the wasteland of QC - 
now, the granddaddy of them all has invested upon 
a local guru of sorts, un dénommé Alain Simard
the monumental task of selling its latest set of 4-wheels... 
And the result is, shall we say... odd? 
Have a look now: 





By quoting Henry Ford himself, Alain here thinks he legitimizes his 
rather out-of-left-field association with the auto industry, 
as he then goes on a long diatribe 
about his love of music, festivals and so on -
all the stuff he does on his turf up there, basically, 
in-between two surprise snowstorms, 
and all that stuff has very little to do 
with the ''proud sponsor'' here - Ford!  
(Like, so what; Henry Ford once said that 
the most beautiful thing in life is to keep 
your mind young - what has it got to do 
with music?  Actually, by combining all of those 
ingredients -music, youth, cars- you may only get 
two things: speed - and untimely death! 
Not a good combination, Alain! 
Are you even any relation to René, Alain? 
Okay - he probably is - ils sont tricotés serrés, ceux-là! 
And as for Ford - the company - well, 
thy founder, Henry, must be rolling in his grave!) 
But both sponsor as sponsored have one goal in mind: 
''aller plus loin'' (to go further - or is that 
to boldly go where no other freakazoid has gone before? 
Nah - that's the other guys: y'know, the wagon wheels 
in the spaceways, or something...? 
Never mind...!!!)  
So everyone will have to wait and see 
where this campaign will go, exactly...! 

= + = 
Now, I know I usually stop at three - 
but I can't resist adding two more, 
this time...! 

Let's give another chance at Ford, 
to redeem themselves in the eyes of Henry, 
as they launched a funny campaign 
for their C-MAX Hybrid car...
Here it is: 




Now this would be much better - 
if it wasn't just borrowing someone else's 
creativity - namely legendary Italian 
cartoon LA LINEA by the late, great 
Osvaldo Cavandoli - 
and tacking on annoying music 
to sell their hypocritical hybrid there! 
Nice try, Ford... Nice try! 

We might as well just go for the joy ride instead - 
with Sexy Judi... or Sexy Kayla...
Hot Suki... or Hot Melyssa G



TESLA looks better and better...


Just count yourselves lucky that we didn't include a
Hyundai commercial here -
the way they're done up north of the 49th parallel
with the insufferable Guillaume Lemay-Thivierge
(QC's attempt at having an action star
with rugged odd looks akin to those of
the mish-mash that their society has become!
And to think that he is purported to be
the good-looking one of two sibling child actors...!)
no... really... you just know you don't want to see this:


So funny - because the guy doesn't ever speak English
- not in public, anyway!
Ironically, and most probably not quite so coincidentally either,
Guillaume here and the funny guy of the Honda commercial
were the ''stars'' of the sorry attempt at an action film
based around a cool car in 2007 (called Nitro...)
that was Made In QC and not even a success there...!
An atrocious waste of celluloid, it could only
have been worse if a third QC-born
car-aficionado had been included in the cast:
Michel ''KM/H'' Barrette...!

We think the winner is clear -
the best campaign going on right now features 
this guy - no question: 


If you don't want to drive like him, 
then you just don't want to drive at all! 

;-)

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