12 On 12

We're right in the middle of those famous TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS that everybody sings about - okay, ALMOST everybody, eh... But that is another story...! 

We could pause and take a fond - nostalgic, for sure - in depth look at what makes those twelve days so... ah... rewarding? What are the gifts again, brought to you by "that true love" one can assume so forgiving on top of being "giving" there - hmm? 

Oh yeah. There were...
Two turtle doves, 
Three French hens, 
Four calling birds 
Five gold rings 
Six geese a-laying 
Seven swans a-swimming 
Eight maids a-milking 
Nine ladies dancing 
Ten lords a-leaping 
Eleven pipers piping 
Twelve drummers drumming
and a partridge in a pear tree!!!

(Yeah, yeah: we realize we reversed the order in which they normally come about, in the classic song - duh!) 

And, so, we could debate the validity - inherent value as well as actual purpose, practical or other - of such a gift list; I mean, what in blue blazes is thy "true love" thinking, there, when she is gifting thee those turtle doves and French hens and calling birds and geese a-laying and swans a-swimming all along with that blasted partridge on a pear tree... HUH?!? Unless you're striving to become a gentleman farmer (New Year's Resolution type of thing, eh) and she is the EXTREMELY ENCOURAGING TYPE - what is the point of gifting you this whole menagerie, huh?!?  

And then there is the NEXT PHASE OF THAT GIFTING FRENZY: she's meaning to throw a major party there if she's bringing you eleven pipers piping, twelve drummers drumming AND ten "lords" a-leaping...!  LEAPING? You better hope the floors are solid there first! And that dozen of drummers: para-pom-pom-pom times twelve - like, all night long? Woah! Are your walls soundproof?!? What will the neighbors say about that? 

The last bit of questioning could have to do with those maids a-milking and nine "ladies" dancing there... Strippers? Lap dance "artists"... are they? And what's with all that milking now? Is that a compendium of hookers and strippers that we are talking about here? Is this a Bachelor party or what? Is this an ORGY...?!?  What can a party is this - what kind of "true love" can this broad really be then?!? (Obviously one of those "it's complicated" or in an "open relationship" modern types... right?) 

BUT... that is not really the point right now! 

There are so many versions of that song playing -everywhere- right now, across the globe...! They are playing non-stop; or so it seems to our poor ears and fried brains! So many versions - you know? 

So then - we at the TLB Prime Network simply could not resist and we had to compare -again- two versions of the celebrated song: the classic one and something that brings about some innovations as to make that gifting far more... shall we say, practical? 

There's the original one, in all of its beauty and glory: 




And in the opposing corner... aux antipodes de tout cela... nos diametralmente opostos confins de tudo isso... the unapologetic wretched Canadian version from SCTV lore!

Eh.

There is just NO comparison. Eh?

+++

It Had To Happen: Chanukkah Vs Christmas!

Aye, Aye, Aye; Ho Ho Ho! 

It is that time of the year again! 

And, maybe, THIS time...

We wanna decide, once and for all, 

which Jew we really want to accrue: 

JESUS-CHRIST 

or that insufferably hirsute... 

Hannukah Harry!!!  

(Ha Ha Ha - you thought we meant 

Santa, 

didn't you?) 


Nooooo - 

we mean THE REAL 

DEALS here, folksies: 

TIME TO MAKE A CHOICE

it's either The Messiah 

or the Menorah! 

NOTHING IN-BETWEEN! 

And nothing fabricated, 

as obviously fake

as ''Papa Noël'' 

so obviously is!


Now watch:








Ok, so it is really a battle of comedic talent here - that of the SNL's alumnus emeritus, Adam Sandler, opposite that of the prodigies of Portugal, ExcentricPT!

And it is obvious that the latter win - by a substantial margin!



Viva Portugal!
:)

"ДЕВОЧКА СО СПИЧКАМИ" VS "DISNEY & PIXAR"

This Christmas, forget about The Little Drummer Boy and tell Frosty the Snowman to f...rost off or something! Instead, partake of real sadness and suffering, for once, in these fastuous holidays that you usually enjoy, without a care for those who are in need right around the corner...!

   

The Russian version - where the granny is replaced by an angel (who would have thought a communist country would come to making such a substitution - the Lord Does Work in Mysterious Ways! But that is another story...) Or the American, Disney-ified version...

   

Russian or Disney Which one brought up more tears to well up those insensitive eyes of yours - UH?!? 

Do let me know... 

Or rather DON'T!

 +++

Battle Of The Vitrines...!

Choose now between the most lecherous vitrines, ads, campaign posters, publicity shots plastered all over town that one could find in 2010 - practically everywhere (but mostly found in two of the five cities I visited the most, recently...)

Which one DARES SHOWING OFF THE MOST - and is most successful at it too?
Which one TEASES the WORST?
Which one is more SEXIST?

You decide! Here are the nominees:

Led Zep Vs Def Lep - it had to happen...?!?

OK - okay! I know! (Worry not: I do know!) 

Maybe it would be a much fairer fight if we opposed Led Zeppelin to true peers such as... Rainbow!